Butt cracks

Unless you’ve been in a coma for the past few years, you’ll have noticed that our culture is awash with butt cracks. This is a trend I first reported on back in 2002, when I noticed that Madonna was wearing pants that stopped half way up her ass.

Perhaps the best known butt crack is the one revealed by the Coppertone Girl. The ad, first revealed in 1946, shows a young girl at the beach with her bottom pulled down by her dog. The idea was to show the difference between finely-bronzed Coppertone skin and pasty-white covered up skin.

whoops!

As you can see in the picture above, the original Coppertone Girl revealed pretty much her full butt. Oh, those were innocent times. Recent versions of the iconic ad show far less of the girl’s behind, reducing it down to a small crack not unlike what you see on teenage girls on Ste. Catherine street on any given warm day. I suppose one must keep up with the times. After all, a full ass in the face is a bit rude — it’s a bit like being “mooned.” But a little butt crack can be cute.

Imagine my surprise a few days ago when I happened upon a Coppertone display at my local pharmacy. Behold, the mutant Coppertone Girl! It appears she has a single buttock, sans crack!

where's the crack?!

That’s just stupid. No doubt some fearful corporate types are worried that their 60-year-old little girl will somehow attract hoards of perverts who will hang around pharmacies with their hands in the pockets of their baggy pants and will not even buy the product. This, despite the massive proliferation of free perversions, both legal and illegal, available online and offline.

Do we need to see the butt crack in order to get the message that Coppertone is a suntan lotion? No, of course not. But do we want to live in a society that is so fearful and paranoid that even a well known iconic image like that is considered potentially dangerous and offensive? I don’t think so.