Missing Babes

Jude points out, in the comments attached to my Types of Babes post, that I had forgotten about Scooter babes! My gawd, of course! How could I forget? Scooter babes are women who ride Vespa-like scooters, preferably in Europe. This is a phenomenon we don’t see much in Canada, but go to Italy or France and you see all these gorgeous women zipping around town on scooters. It’s fabulous! Especially when they’re all done up as if they’re going on a date or something. I can see them now in their black skirts buzzing around the fountains in the Piazza Navona, or barrelling up the Boulevard Jean Médecin in Nice. Mmmmmm… scooter babes….

Interesting times

Jeez, what an intense couple of weeks! Every winter I say I’m going to go south for a vacation, but when the time comes I always find some lame excuse not to. Well, this year is different. The plane ticket is bought, and the plans are made. I’m off to Mexico in two weeks time, for a two week self-directed tour of the Yucatan peninsula.Deciding to go there over my other options (Costa Rica, Venezuela, and Trinidad & Tobago) required a lot of reading and researching, but what it finally boiled down to is that this one’s the easiest, although certainly not the least expensive. Besides, I’ve been wanting to go to some of these places for years. I’ve got reservations made for about half of the trip, just because the “Mexican Riviera” has become so expensive that I don’t want to show up somewhere and have everything full except the $125US/night places. I have a few alternative itineraries, but I’m staying open and flexible, because I may want to go where the wind (or the Danish/Spanish/Scottish/whatever babe I may meet along the way) goes.

Then there is the small detail of buying a condo. As I reported earlier, I had made an offer on a place but in the end I wasn’t satisfied with it. I broke the deal, and that night found a really wonderful place. It had just gone on the market that day, and I made an offer before the clock struck midnight. Talk about moving fast!

Then I had to pay for another building inspection, sign a million papers, arrange for a mortgage, and decipher the condo agreement. It’s now a done-deal, all except the notary and the final signing, which won’t take place until the end of April. I move in the first week of May, which seems like a million years from now. You can get a peek at the place here.

During all of this I’ve also been sick, with a low-level flu-like thing scratching around inside me sapping my energy.

Finally, to top it all off (and to shake the foundation a bit), I survived a round of layoffs at work. *gulp* One does not want to hear “layoffs” in the same week as “your mortgage has been approved.” But I did survive it. Unfortunately, Steve my office-mate did not.

Types of Babes.

Bill’s and Partygirlie’s comments after my Sexualist vs. Sensualist post, in which they talk about getting off on/in libraries and bookstores has prompted me to reveal my highly coveted list of Types of Babes. Keep in mind this is blork talking, so I’m not going to fall into that rut where “babe” means some kind of Barbie doll chick. Au contraire, a Barbie doll-type has to work extra hard on other things to overcome that handicap.

As such, for the purpose of this (and any further) discussion, a “babe” is a female person who isn’t hard on the eye-bones (this is very subjective and widely variable), and who exhibits the proverbial je ne sais quoi that transforms her out of the morass of the ordinary into the exhalted realm of the extraordinary. This can be as simple as how she wears her scarf, but is usually a complex arrangement of physical characteristics (with “cleanliness” at the top), plus style, attitude, smarts, wit, sensibility, and lack of annoying habits.

There are, however, a number of specific short-cuts, which are categorized below. If a woman fits into one of these categories, the chances of her achieving “babe” status increases by a full order of magnitude.

Thus, for your intellectual enjoyment, I present blork’s taxonomy of babeness:

  • Women in book stores (book store babes)
  • Women who drink scotch whiskey and don’t make a big deal of it (highlander babes)
  • Women in long black dresses who play the cello (cello babes)
  • Women who will eat just about anything I put in front of them (not-fussy babes)
  • Women who fall down when they laugh (fall-down-laughing babes)
  • Women who love to travel (travelling babes)
  • Women who love my cat (Spiff-lovin’ babes)
  • Women who know how to be angry without being hurtful (non-nasty babes)
  • Women who are jounalists—particularly Canadian TV journalists (news babes)
  • Women who don’t think I’m a dope (very astute babes)
  • Women who wear big knobby sweaters (sweater babes)
  • Women with Russian accents (ruška-babeškå)
  • Women who write plays, novels, or magazine articles (writerly babes)
  • Women who are astronauts from Quebec (les cosmo-babes)
  • Women who ride scooters (scooter babes)
  • You, if you’re still reading this

We eat!

For the next week I plan to write down and report to you at the end of each day everything that I have eaten that day. I do this for three reasons: (1) because I want to see it in writing for myself, (2) by publishing it here I hope to shame myself into eating less, and (3) because my millions of fans want to know!

I will report everything. I won’t break it down by times or meals, but it will be in chronological order. I am not, strictly speaking, on a diet, although I am trying to be more careful about what I take in. I am very loosely following the Montignac method, meaning I try to separate fats from carbohydrates (i.e., don’t eat both at the same meal), and I avoid processed sugar and white flour. (A note to those avoiding white flour: most “multigrain” breads you see on the market are full of white flour.) Most of what I eat is home-made. Also, my morning coffee has half 2% milk and half cream, but no sugar. (Shaddap, I like it that way.)

I’ll be blogging about other things too, but at the end of each day there will always be a food count. Starting today.

Wednesday’s Yummies
• Oatmeal with apples and cinnamon
• 1 large coffee
• 1 low-fat lemon-multigrain muffin
• 1 breaded & baked chicken breast with steamed broccoli
• 1 apple
• 1 banana
• Simple salad of greens and grated carrots with a whisper of white wine vinegrette
• Gluten-free corn flour penne pasta with roasted tomato sauce
• 1 glass of red wine