Oct 05 2010

Alston Adams, 1974-2010

Alston Adams, known as @AlstonAdams on Twitter and formerly as Jonas Parker and later himself on his blog, died of cancer yesterday. He was 35.

I don’t remember exactly when I met Alston for the first time, but it was probably 2003 or 2004, most likely at La Cabane, where we early-adopter bloggers used to hold our monthly YULBlog gatherings. By then, the YULBlog evenings were drawing a larger crowd (20 to 30 people), so I didn’t get to know Alston very well right away. But over time, through seeing him at YULBlog and other events, and by reading his blogs, I eventually fell into his orbit.

In 2007, just after landing his dream job in the video game industry, he was diagnosed with cancer. In September of that year he underwent a radical surgery that removed a large piece of his stomach and esophagus. A few days after the surgery he was able to receive a group of friends went to visit him in the hospital. We were shocked at the extent of the scarring. It was as if the surgeon had deconstructed him, or had unwrapped him like a tube of Pillsbury turnovers and then wrapped him back up again.

Espophogeal cancer is one of the worst ones to get. Hardly anyone gets over it. Alston’s continuing treatments would show some success and then there would be a setback. Up and down he went in his very open battle. By the end of last year he was resigned to the fact that he wasn’t going to beat it, that it was a matter of pushing back as long as life seemed livable, and that this likely wouldn’t be very long. Last November he said, in a blog post, that he’d be surprised to see the end of 2011.

He lived as well as he could over the past three years. Perhaps the highlight was participating in a film, Wrong Way to Hope,  about young adults with cancer. The project saw him fly out west to hang out with other like-bodied people and to do fun outdoorsy things like whitewater kayaking. The film will be released in November of this year.

This clip contains a few scenes cut from the film. That’s Alston at the beginning, the shirtless guy.

Alston also contributed to a book published earlier this year by the McGill University Health Center and The Cedars Cancer Institute, called Cancer Under the Radar; Young Adults Tell Their Stories. On a more personal and immediate level, he contributed to his friends’ knowledge and understanding of cancer, treatments, setbacks, oncology, and even race issues, through his insightful and sometimes humorous blog posts at AlstonAdams.net/blog.

During Alston’s three year battle with cancer, he bounced between sickness and not-quite-wellness. He went out as much as he could, saw friends, and continued to attend YULBlog when he could. By early 2010, however, it was becoming apparent that he might not live out the year. He was thin and frail and wasn’t eating much. He continued to write on his blog, but he didn’t go out as much as he did before, as the cancer, the treatments, and his low food intake were all making him very tired and weak. But occasionally he’d rally and would show up looking thin but good. In April, Martine and I sat with him at the Mainline Theatre where we saw “The Midlife Crisis of Dionysus.” He was as thin as a stick but in high spirits despite the fact that a tumor was pressing on his vocal cords, reducing his voice to a whisper.

He showed up at my birthday party in June, held at a bar above a tapas restaurant on rue St-Denis. His voice had partially come back, and he looked dapper in a short brimmed Panama-style hat.

50 years of Blork

The last time I saw Alston was at a pot-luck Sunday dinner held at Michel and Suzanne’s place in August. Alston brought smoked meat sandwiches from Schwartz’s, and to everyone’s surprise he managed to eat one himself. In the early evening, Martine and I drove him home; he was staying with a friend, a doctor who lives on the edge of Old Montreal. There was a flight of stairs to climb, but he refused any help. He thanked us for the ride and said goodbye to us there on the sidewalk. We all knew that we might never see him again, which sounds very dramatic but in reality it was more surreal and a bit awkward. That’s how it is with the terminally ill; you never know when their time will be up and every time you see them you think it might be the last. In that case it was.

Rest in peace, Alston. You will be missed.

Some other tributes to Alston:

Categorized under Health,Moi,Montreal,Weblogs

10 comments so far

10 Comments on “Alston Adams, 1974-2010”

  1. zuraon 05 Oct 2010 at 1:04 pm

    Thanks for these words, Blork.

  2. the millineron 05 Oct 2010 at 1:58 pm

    Well put, Blork. Your birthday party was loads of fun and I’m so glad we had the chance to spend some time with Alston there. I must admit that the image I have of him in my head is often the one of him that night, in that hat.

    In seeing how hard it was for him to stay engaged at our place, I cringed (and still do) at the thought of how many stairs he had to climb to get up to our place. But reading what happened at drop off, I suspect that he would have not had it any other way.

    I too felt the surreal-ness and the awkwardness that afternoon. But there were snippets of conversation and togetherness filtered throughout the get-together that were funny and engaging. I think (and hope) that Alston felt that love, that afternoon.

  3. Martineon 05 Oct 2010 at 3:35 pm

    That was my hat! I had left it sitting somewhere and at some point, Alston put in on for part of the evening and managed not to look girly or silly with it. Monsieur style!

    Suzanne: I made the same comment about the gathering at your place. I hope that what Alston could feel was all the love and caring going around. There was indeed a lot of it.

  4. Blorkon 05 Oct 2010 at 4:00 pm

    Suzanne, it did take him a while to get up those stairs (Martine and I arrived at the same time he did, with Mark and Alison), but he graciously advised us all to go first as he’s be slow. He took it slow, but with no complaints.

    I’m quite sure he appreciated the day, and I think he preferred we focus on the here and now when we’d get together. As I said on Frank’s blog, if we get all maudlin when we’re getting together with terminally ill people it makes it that much harder on them, especially if they just want to try to enjoy themselves. It’s fine balancing act.

    Martine, ha ha! I forgot that was your hat! I think he wore it pretty much the whole time he was there. :-)

  5. DAVE IDon 05 Oct 2010 at 4:45 pm

    Great post about “an original”. I never met him bot over the past few years we FBed and email on a regular basis and he was a great human being.

  6. nicholas robinsonon 05 Oct 2010 at 6:01 pm

    That’s horrific. It’s just not fair. It’s just not right to die before eighty anymore.

    I didn’t know the guy but anyone who goes out before I was lining up coke in strange places and losing that behavior doesn’t deserve to die.

  7. Julieon 08 Oct 2010 at 9:29 am

    I love that picture so much. The hat is perfect on him. Thank you for this post.

  8. nicholas robinsonon 09 Oct 2010 at 1:55 pm

    Well, I gotta say, that is just one big fucking drag.

  9. Adams family – Fagsteinon 09 Oct 2010 at 9:46 pm

    [...] Ed Hawco [...]

  10. Financial Centson 11 Oct 2010 at 2:51 pm

    Thanks for your post. I knew Ali for years, in high school, and also through university. We grew up together in Brockville.

    We kept in touch here and there through the years, but not like you guys have recently I’m sad to write.

    I just found your blog today and was informed by a friend about Ali’s passing. Very sad news. He was a great guy.

    A sad reminder that life is short, and you need to enjoy the ride while you can.

    Take care,
    Mark