Dream Guidance Needed

On CBC Radio 1 this morning, Melissa  Auf der Maur told Q‘s Jian Ghomeshi that she is guided by her dreams. That brought to mind a dream I had earlier this week.

A bunch of elephants came to visit. Even though they were full-sized elephants, they managed to fit into my house just fine. (Oh thank you dreamscape, for your unabashed warping of all our dimensions!) The elephants were in a good mood and were pretty well behaved. The baby elephants were adorable. Nothing more than a pleasant day at home with the elephants until their friend the hippopotamus showed up.

He wasn’t very big as hippopotamuses go (a bit taller than waist-high on me). He was also in a pretty good mood, but man did he stink! He was covered in a thin layer – just a sheen, really – of some really rancid slime. Oh wow, I’m almost losing my lunch right now just thinking about it.

I really wanted to show the hippo the door, but I didn’t want to offend him, or his friend the elephants. Then I woke up.

So how about it, Mel? Got any guidance for me on that one? Or what about the one where the Komodo Dragon was sniffing my crotch?

5 thoughts on “Dream Guidance Needed

  1. If you had a dog sleeping in your bed I’d suggest some external stimulus caused the dream smell… Mini, we’re looking at you now!

  2. I think you’ve been watching too many Telus commercials!

  3. Dear Blork,

    My name is Sigmund Fraud.

    Your dreams indicate that you are having problems with your partner. Your dream sequences of hippos represent the inner fear of losing a loved one.

    When you see hippos in your living room, you have to understand that your mind, in its primeval, mammalian-oafish way, is merely asking how they fit in the elevator. Or how they got up the stairs.

    And furthermore, Blork, did you know that hippos are the most dangerous animals in Africa? They outperform lions and hyenas by far in terms of human fatalities.

    So this represents the id in you that fears the conundrum of how the hippo gets into your house.

    As far as the hippo being slimy, this is a representation of the desire to wallow in a muddy river while other hippos wag their tails and mark their territories with excrement.

    I would prescribe a serious dose of Prozac and perhaps an anti-somnambulent to prevent you sleeping any further.

  4. There is no need to “send” a cheque. I am a certified metaphycisist-proctology practitioner, and I offer my services for no charge.

    (Translation: “I’ll kick your ass and bash your head at the same time for free!”)

    I therefore know that the cheque has always been in the mail, and will continue to be at any give time. There is no need to examine the existence of the cheque.

    It is only the process of one examining the EXISTENCE of the cheque that its actual existence alters, rendering the entire experiment without fruitful results.


    Dr. Sigmund Fraud, EEG; EKG; OMG: WTF.

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