Ho for the holidays…

slutty girls

Trashy toys for trashy kids

There’s a line of so-called “fashion dolls” called “Bratz” that seem to be quite popular this holiday season. In fact, it’s a huge franchise, with videogames, clothes, and 1001 spin-off toys. Something called “Family Fun” magazine has granted these tarts a “Toy of the Year” award for the past three years in a row.

That’s fine except for one thing — these dolls look like street sluts and bring kitsch to a whole new level. Now, far be it from me to criticize the stylistic preferences of urban kids here in the 21st century, but this is awful. I mean really — we make fun of humans when they dress like this, so why do we create toys (and their accompanying personas) with such bad taste, and then sell them to impressionable 10-year-olds? (I smell a Wal-Mart conspiracy… )

Been sucking on
a candy cane?

I mean really. Look, they even sport that most horrible affliction of contemporary maquillage, the BJ lip line. There doesn’t even seem to be any irony or sarcasm — they’re pushing this as a viable aesthetic, something cool, to aspire to.

What’s next? G.I. Joes with wife-beater shirts and mullets? Crack House Barbie?

19 thoughts on “Ho for the holidays…

  1. I dunno what disturbs me more – this, or the fact that most kids here (as young as 7) want a mobile phone this Christmas.

    And will probably get one.

  2. Hey! well at least he doesn’t write letters to the editor…

    Actually Mich, *everything* is wrong with lip liner. My inner Carmindy from What Not To Wear tells me two-tone lips are an old, old, old look, that never ever looked classy on anybody, ever.

    The whole point of lip liner is to provide a more precise edge outline, something that’s hard to do with regular lipstick without smudging or flaking. The consistency of lip liner is more like an eyebrow pencil, so it lasts longer: problem with using liner that’s lighter or darker than your natural lip color is, once the lipstick wears off you end up with this strange ring that is frankly unattractive. That’s why professional makeup people use light clear gloss over the whole thing to seal in the color, at least temporarily.

    Scuse me, gotta get in my private jet.

  3. I thought you were afraid of flying, a.j.? ;-)

    The lip liner looks awful on these dolls but how about the size of the lips? Their lips are bigger than their waist lines! What happened? Did the silicone from the breast implants make its way up to the mouth?

  4. AJ is absolutely correct regarding lip lines and lipstick. That’s why it is such an aesthetic atrocity when you see these trashy girls on the bus who go out of their way to make the lip line noticeable. It’s like cramming yourself into a girdle and then wearing low-waisted pants so people can see the girdle. Huh? These frickin’ Bratz are encouraging girls to be like trashy bus girls.

    Actually, Martine, I can forgive the puffy lips somewhat because the whole face is exaggerated, like a charicature. So like … whatever!

    If these dolls were fully anatomically correct they’d be sporting Brazilians down south, and would have porn starlet tattoos on their lower backs.

  5. Hey, don’t be dissin’ bus people! Bratz don’t take the bus, they use those silicone lipz to get their boyfriendz to drive them around. In white Honda Civics with tinted windows and blue neon around the bottom and the license plate.

    and you haven’t seen their lower backs, so who knows!

    Why not just rename them “Ketainettes” for the Quebec market? :)

  6. I always get a kick out of men over 25 talking about the fashion choices of 14 year old girls and “how can they possibly like that…” :D

  7. 14 year old girls don’t dress like that: most of the ones in the audience at MuchOnDemand seem to dress uber-casually – long, lank hair, zip-up hoodies and flared jeans, like those 4 college roommates in the Wal-Mart ad. The lip liner thing – at least in MTL i’ve only seen it on women over 35 who are trying a little too hard to be fashionable. Some even combine it with that Quebecoise purple hair thing, which I have frankly never understood.

  8. Go spend some time in St. Leonard — you’ll see plenty of lip lines on women in their 20s and teens.

  9. To quote Tommy (?) Sexton from Codco: You know, women in Quebec, they don’t go grey, they go rouge.

  10. You gotta love the special “Quebec” hair.

    As for the little girls dressing like that…they do. My Father was, up until very recently, a foster parent in Ottawa and some of the things that the girls thought looked good were really bad. My personal favourite was when one of the girls (she was 13 at the time) came downstairs dressed to go to a wedding with us. She had on a micro-mini skirt and tiny little sparkly tank top.

    She was told to change.

    …and she wondered why the nasty men at the mall kept on leering at her all the time…

  11. Yeah I walk past a highschool and a junior highschool on the way to work. they dress like that; not all but many :)

  12. I must be getting old. The last lipliner I bought was about 7 years ago and I haven’t got another seeing as I couldn’t find the right shade ;)

  13. Geezers. :-)

    I have to say, apart from the two miniskirts, the dolls in the picture above are dressed much, much more tastefully than they could very easily be.

    And to the two-tone lipliner/lipstick duo, take the broomstick out. Style and fashion often involve breaking the “rules” under which elements were originally designed. If your objection is based on “that’s not the way it’s supposed to go!” rather than “that just looks nasty,” you’re a prude.

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